Anamoly
by MammaMia
Summary: Neo was the One, but the sixth. Who was the fifth?
1. The False Advisor

Zion. It was hard to call the rubble at my feet by the same name as the city I remembered. Bodies stewn across the once thriving temple, lifeless bodies still holding their guns as they bravely made their last stand. The 23 newly-freed looked on with me, their eyes reflecting the enormity of what their minds were forced to absorb. The world they knew was nothing but a lie, and now they had to rebuild and repopulate the mess that was the real. They looked at me for answers, and I did not know what answers to give. Somehow, I knew that I had failed. I had been the One, had gone to the source, and had done the only moral thing I felt I could do. Trinity was a beautiful woman, but who was I to choose earthly pleasures over what I perceived as my divine calling? Yet, looking around at the destruction before me, I could hardly call what happened a victory.  
  
"What are we to do, Neo?" a voice broke my reverie. It was Zora, the youngest of the newly freed. Only 16, with a face a determination that reminded me of Trinity. Had she been where I had gone wrong. Could I have saved them both, humanity and Trinity? I could still see her before my eyes, her mouth agape as the pain enveloped her. Her body crashing into the car below. She did what she did out of a love for me, a love that I didn't allow myself to share or understand. After all, I was to be the Savior of humanity. We shared battles and a bed, and yet I could never understand the depths of her devotion. I had been told since I was eleven that I was some sort of God, and I guess after awhile I began to believe it. I was divine, beyond human emotions. And yet, when I saw Zora, I saw Trinity falling.  
  
"We are to rebuild Zion." I said, hoping that my words carried the same import amongst these newly-freed as they did in Zion.  
"How?" Demo chimed in, a young Asian man of about twenty. He looked at me strangely, as if trying to figure out if this was real or a nightmare.  
"I have to see the Oracle." Was all I could think to say. Before I had gone to her with confidence, yet now I was afraid. Could she tell me how to do this daunting task before me? I said a silent prayer to a God I had long forgotten as I went to the jacking in chair. Lilith followed me wordlessly. She was probably the smartest of them, and had mastered our technology with very little effort. She had agreed to take on the task of operator. I felt the familiar sensation of my consciousness being sucked into the Matrix, and then all momentarily went black.  
  
When I opened my eyes again, I saw her. Not the thinner, frailer version who had greeted me not long ago, but the hardy matron I remembered from our first meeting.  
"Hello Neo" she said, smilingly kindly, but there was a hardness in her eyes. I had failed her, and I did not know how or why. It was then that I sensed her plan and the Architect's plans were quite different. But how? Why didn't she tell me how to do it?  
"You want to know what went wrong, don't you?" she asked, but it was not really a question. She went to her oven, checked on her baking, and then looked back at me. I nodded silently, afraid of the answers I was about to be given.  
"You did what the other Ones did, Neo. You went back to source and chose to rebuild Zion over saving Trinity. Why are you unsure of your decision?"  
"Because I can't help but think maybe I could have saved them both." I answered quietly, allowing my doubts to bubble to the surface.  
"Maybe you could have, but you made the choice. You did what you felt you needed to do. But you expected victory, didn't you?" she asked quietly, removing her cookies from the oven.  
"The war is not over." I whispered, looking down at my feet.  
"No, it isn't. In fact, it is all coming around again. In 100 years more, you will come again. And so will Trinity, Morpheus, and all of the other Matrix-borns that you remember." She responded, taking her cookies off the sheet and placing them gingerly on the cooling rack  
"So, this is it? It is all going to play out the same way over and over again?" Now I was becoming angry. Were we just cogs in a wheel made by the machines?  
"Not necessarily. It all comes down to choice, Neo. It always has. I chose to tell Morpheus his destiny to find the One young, and so he found you young. I still remember you coming here, a little boy more interested in cookies than your powers." She chuckled now, putting a cookie on the plate. She handed it to me, "Chocolate chip, your favorite, isn't it?"  
I smiled and took the cookie. Maybe I hadn't failed completely.  
"You see Neo, we all made choices that led you to where we are today. Maybe if you had been unplugged later, you would have loved Trinity. Did you ever love her?"  
"I never let myself, and now I see her face wherever I go." I admitted, meeting her gaze.  
"You will see her again, and yourself, and when you do you will know how to advise them. For now, you must recreate Zion. Once again teach them the prophecy, and then maybe the next time you come around, we can get to the future." She said this hopefully, almost willing me to understand.  
"The future?"  
"You see, you thought you were to save humanity alone. To end the war, that is not the way. You, or the next you, must fight for us all. Man and machine."  
I couldn't help but scoff at the idea. "Fight, for the machines? Why would I do that?"  
"Because we will face a common enemy, and only the One has the power to destroy this enemy. This enemy will be your reciprocal, will only know how to hate."  
"And the way to fight back will be taught by love" I finished for her, and she nodded vehemently. Love. Trinity.  
"You never truly paid attention to what she could have shown you." The Oracle stated, lighting her cigarette and looking at me through the smoke.  
"I hope the next One knows better," I responded, grabbing a chair and sitting. My knees were suddenly weak, the enormity of my failure weighing on me.  
"I'll try to get it across a little better when I meet him. What about you? What will you do when you meet him?"  
"I'll meet him?" I responded, surprised.  
"Why not? You were Matrix born, genetically perfect as only a machine can make you. You and the rest of the newly-freed, battle notwithstanding, will live to see the next generation. This is how you will all rebuild Zion, guiding the path of those that come after you." She tapped her finger on the table in time to her words.  
"You mean, become a kind of Council?" I responded, furrowing my brows.  
"Yes, Neo, now you see it."  
  
And I did see it. The newly-freed and myself would become the Council, and we would lead the next generation. Where I had failed as a Savior of all, I could try to effect change in the next loop of this revolution.  
"But, how much can everyone know?" I asked.  
"Think about it.." she responded, urging me to come up with the answer.  
"Everything must happen as it happened before, with few changes. And since no one had told me.:  
"Go on"  
"Zion must know nothing."  
  
When I returned to Zion, the 23 of us made that pact. No one would know that I was the One, yet agreed to spread his legend. We would do our part to lead all actions to fulfillment of the prophecy. And we would keep quiet about our true selves and origins, hoping that the next One would be the Savior. Yes, we would be lying to all, advising them falsely, yet that could not be helped. We are, as the Oracle told me, all here to do what we're all here to do. And I was here, a failed Messiah, to lead the next One to his real path, even if my advice was predicated on a lie.  
  
"What name have you chosen for yourself?" the Oracle asked next time I visited her. My trips into the Matrix would have to end soon, since my code and the next Neo's code would most likely be identical.  
  
"Haman" She gave a rueful smile. "The lying Councilor?."  
  
"Could you think of a better one?" 


	2. The Wheel Turns

Trinity is below me, her eyes conveying her love. For once, on this most beautiful of nights, I let go. She is everything to me, and I finally allow myself to see it. Suddenly, I am afraid to touch her. She is more than a woman and a warrior, she is a goddess. I look at her naked form below me and see the perfection. Each part as if sculpted from white marble. Her cerulean eyes look at me questioningly, and I feel the fire starting inside. This isn't the lust and I have become accustomed to, it is the love I have been denying ever since the first night we have laid together. As if sensing the change, she graces me with one of her rare yet dazzling smiles. I smile back, and then lean in to touch her lips. I mean to be gentle, yet the flood of love enters me and drives me as never before. My hands pass over her body not as a means to end as before, but to give her pleasure. I touch her nipples, imbued with the color of coral, with gentleness before I cover one with my mouth. Sucking on it gently, I hear her moan my name and that gives me new fire. With my other hand I start caressing her thigh, moving progressively upward until I feel her warmth. I find her most sensitive area and start stroking it gently, and I feel her bucking beneath me, as if willing me to go further. My mouth moves from her breasts slowly downward, and when I find the area where my hand was I hear her cry out in pleasure. Her hands start fondling my hair, and I hear her breathing become louder and more ragged. My fingers find her inner core, and it is then I feel her need. I am far gone at this point, the throbbing becoming unbearable. I lift up to look at her once more and see the tears in her eyes. This is what she has wanted from me. Love-making, not sex, and I have finally seen what I should have seen years ago. I kiss her again, positioning myself so that we join physically. I hear a cry, and realize that it is my own. We have found a rhythm, and suddenly I feel her shudder. When I look down to see her eyes, they are not focused. They are vacuous. And then I see the blood.  
  
She is no longer nude, but clothed her in cat suit. And she is bleeding from where the bullet entered her. From where I let the bullet enter. I call her name, but there is no response. The red blood is staining the crisp white sheets, and as I grab her, to call her back, I can feel that her heart has stopped. Trinity  
  
I wake up with a start, wiping the sweat from my brow. Years ago, when I first started having this nightmare, I didn't know how to handle it. I would scream at the top of my lungs, pounding the walls. All that accomplished was breaking my hand and getting some strange looks from the doctors. Then I tried finding someone to share my nights with me. Lilith and I became friends and then lovers, but it never scratched the surface. And the nightmares kept coming. Finally, she walked away. I didn't care all that much. She remained my friend and my closest confidante, but we never shared what I could have had with Trinity. I think she sensed that, and never tried to get much closer than I let her in. Once, post-coitus, I told her about the nightmares, and she nodded with understanding.  
  
"You can't blame yourself. In the Matrix, I had a husband. He wanted to have children, but I wanted to wait. You know, get my career going and all. We were married only one year when he was killed by a mugger. The guy didn't even mean to kill him. He had a bad heart and we just didn't know it." She shifted her attention to the corner of the sheets, clenching and unclenching it with her hand.  
"I didn't know that all of it was an illusion. For all I know he was, too. But sometimes, when I hold a baby in Zion, I think of what we both could have known."  
  
I looked at her for awhile, watching as her strong shoulders began to shake. She was crying, and before I knew it I felt my vision blur. I was crying too.  
  
It was the next morning when I received word that the Neb was returning with a newly-freed member. Her given name was Julianne, but her hacker name was Trinity. Something inside my body ran cold as I realized that my time was almost up. The Oracle said I had to advise this new generation, but how? I couldn't save Zion in my tenure as the One, how would I do it now? 


	3. Called Out

Chapter 3  
  
I threw myself down on my bed, rubbing my temples to assuage the throbbing. One of the perks of getting older is that you can tell people you need to lay down without too many questions. Neither Lilith nor Dillard bought my excuse, though - I knew that from the glances they exchanged when I walked away. Lilith knew the cause of my consternation and would most likely respect my privacy, stay away. When I heard the knock on my door, I knew it had to be Dillard.  
Lilith once teased me that the women I chose to free from the Matrix were chosen because there was something about all of them that reminded me of Trinity. While I scoffed at the idea back then, in retrospect I had to admit she was right. With Zora, it was Trinity's ability to love. Lilith, her quick wit and keen mind. With Dillard, let's just say that she was one to be feared. Out of all of the ones I freed, Dillard's devotion to our cause was the most absolute. She followed it with a blind faith much like the faith Trinity had shown me. As a result, she was a force to be reckoned with. In her younger years, no one could outsmart or outrun an agent like she could. Unlike the rest of us, she never coined a Hacker name in the Matrix.  
"I am what I believe. I am what and WHO I am." She said once when Zora had asked, with a voice so intense that Zora had backed away. Unfortunately for poor Zora, she did not possess the strength of the other women. A couple of years ago she asked to be removed from the Council, and now spent her days looking after her great-great grandchildren Dozer, Tank, and Zee.  
Dillard did not wait for me to answer the door that I had forgotten to lock. She strode in purposefully, not wasting a movement. I knew I was in trouble.  
"So?" she asked, her eyes boring into me. I shrugged my shoulders, unsure of what to say.  
"If I knew all the answers we wouldn't be here right now." I responded, trying to laugh it off. She wouldn't let me.  
"That's not an answer and you know it Neo!" she snapped, and I flinched at the name that I no longer identified myself with. In my heart it belonged to another. Someone more worthy.  
"Trinity is freed. The moment is coming. You've known that ever since Morpheus took the helm of the Neb."  
I nodded silently. "Yes, but he is so different from the one I knew." And it was true. The previous Morpheus had found me young, so he carried on a normal life. Or at least as normal as we could have here in Zion. He had married Niobe, had children of his own. This one, his cause had been allowed to burn in his breast. Slowly, we lost the happy, easygoing man that I had known. He was replaced by a man who became consumed with his divine burden. While some in Zion regarded him as downright crazy, others considered him a holy man. Our own personal John the Baptist. Supporters and detractors alike had to admit, though, he was a fine military man. On his own merits, he became the youngest Captain ever to have a ship.  
"Whatever he has become, his purpose is the same." She replied, those blue eyes still boring into me. "So is yours." She paused, softening. "I believe in you. I always have. But you have choices to make here that effect us all. What do we do with Trinity when she comes to Zion?" She sat down on my bed, looking at me for an answer.  
And then it came to me. The answer we needed. "Well, she had special abilities. She must be trained by the best.." I responded, as Dillard vehemently nodded in agreement.  
"She also have to be under the tutelage of someone who believes in the prophecy. Nothing can be allowed to undermine her faith in the One." Dillard added, counting on her fingers as if making a list.  
"Also, she's only 17. She'll need a strong female role model." I added, smirking now. Dillard stopped mid-nod when she realized my meaning.  
"Me?!?!" she asked, pointing to herself incredulously.  
"You were the best." I said, spreading my hands in innocence. Dillard leaned back a bit.  
"WERE the best?" she asked, snorting. "Well, I guess we did just describe me, didn't we?" she gave a rueful smile and shook her head. "You always knew how to get what you wanted old man." She teased, giving that famous Dillard smile that barely flickered across her face. With that decided, she began to leave when I remembered something else I needed to ask her.  
"So, how are the rest of the newly promoted doing?"  
Dillard snorted, "A competent bunch, nice enough. Except for this one major league pain in the ass."  
"Who?"  
"This guy named Locke. Good. Quite, good actually. Just too quick to blame others for his mistakes and no personality. He's like conversing with cardboard."  
I chuckled a bit. If anything, Dillard was blunt.  
"I have a feeling this guy is going to go places, but he and I will have it out one day. I just know it." Dillard shook her head and walked out, closing the door behind her.  
My thoughts were interrupted by Demo's voice over the intercom.  
"Haman?"  
"Yes?"  
"The Neb is docking in Bay 3."  
I took a deep breath and pulled myself up. "Thank you, Demo. I'll be right there."  
Before I left, I looked in the mirror. The man I was never looked back at me, covered in a cloak of years and a name I used to cover him. Dillard had called him out, and I saw him there in the reflection in front of me.  
"Come on Neo." I whispered to him, and I think I saw him smile back. 


	4. Trinity

Chapter 4 - First Meetings  
  
She looked exactly as I remembered. With the exception of her hair being much shorter and the unnatural paleness of her skin, here before me was that face. The face that had haunted my dreams for more years than I could remember. Those eyes. Blue as the sea and the sky that she wanted to see more than anything. One night in Zion, before that final mission, she had asked me what I wanted more than anything. I had told her I wanted the war to end, to finally save humanity. She sighed, sat up in bed, and looked at me.  
"I wish I could say I want something so grand. All I really want is to see the sky before I die."  
"Don't you want peace?" I asked, looking at her oddly. She gave me her trademark smile, the one that only played upon the corners of her mouth.  
"I know you will save Zion. That's not a wish. It's a fact."  
I took a deep breath and proceeded towards the bay to meet with Trinity and Morpheus. As I came closer to her, I suddenly felt the urge to flee. I was sure those eyes would see my soul. Neo. The man who she was so sure could save Zion and in the end couldn't save her. The man who couldn't show her the sky. Or love. A failure. Would she see me? Would I finally feel the hatred that I knew I deserved?  
Instead, in those eyes I saw uncertainty, a fear. While she had her innate gracefulness, her uncertainty transposed itself into her gait, making her appear almost clumsy in comparison to the cat-like grace that I remembered. I felt the love that I had denied burn inside me, but I knew I had to squelch it. She could not know. No one could. Funny, when I could have shown her love I chose not to and now that I couldn't, and in reality it was not the same Trinity, I felt it more strongly than ever.  
"She's a girl." I chided myself, realizing that if I didn't keep it in check I would wind up looking like a pervert. No, Trinity did not need me as a lover. That role would now be passed to someone else. Actually, I was even too old to be like a father-figure. Try it out, gramps.  
"Counselor Haman," Morpheus smiled brightly, "I present to you Trinity."  
My mouth went dry and briefly I was unable to speak. In front of me stood the face that haunted my nights. Her eyes were bright, and she gave me the shy smile I remembered from our youths.  
"Don't let her down this time." I thought to myself, taking her hand. I felt a warmth burn up my arm, searing in its purity. Control Haman, I thought to myself. Control.  
"It is a pleasure my dear." I said "And words of your accomplishments precede you. the IRSd base. Oh, you are quite the smart one, aren't you?" Later on, Lilith told me that I sounded like a department store Santa Claus in my quest to sound paternal. Thank the heavens none of the Neb's crew members noticed anything strange. Trinity stood straight as a rail, but her smile became wider and her eyes sought the floor.  
"Thank you counselor." She said softly, with just a touch of pride.  
"No, my dear, thank you. You will doubt serve us well in our struggle. In fact, one of our best soldiers have come out of retirement to assume your training."  
Morpheus furrowed his brows, disappointment obvious. The previous Morpheus had a family of his own to play father to, this Morpheus only had his crew. It was obvious from his reaction and demeanor that he viewed Trinity as his special child. His protégé.  
"Don't worry, Morpheus," Dillard stepped in, giving a small smile, "She will be with you in one year's time. Until then, I'll take good care of her."  
Morpheus' upset turned to shock. "Counselor Dillard!" Suddenly his smile became wide. Trinity was watching him, as if to take a cue on how to react to these developments. Morpheus patted her on the back, pride evident.  
"Trinity," Counselor Dillard is a legend in Zion. No one could outrun an agent like her in her day."  
"Pardon me, Captain, but one more "in her day" remark and I'll meet you in the Construct just to show you its still my day." Dillard then gave Trinity her real smile, the bright one she so rarely used. She took her by the arm, "Let's leave these two to their bantering. We have work to do." Blue eyes met blue eyes, and the two women walked away. 


	5. Trying Not to Slip

From the time Trinity came to Zion, I monitored her progress carefully. Nothing could go wrong - she had to be prepared for everything. Including me, or the new me. While the nightmares dissipated, my sleep was now interrupted by visions of her training. Dillard had warned me more than once that my attentions could arouse suspicious, and the last time I hovered ordered Demo to take me away from the monitor so I could not watch, Something would not let me be passive. This was my chance - I could serve Trinity better now as a mentor, or grandfather, than a lover. Part of me believed I could save her.  
I did not think that my protectiveness and concern had grown excessive until the day Morpheus knocked on my door. He had submitted a request for Trinity to be placed full-time on the Neb. A request that I quickly denied. True, she had completed a year of training, considered sufficient for all new recruits. Still, I tried to reason with myself. She was a special case, even if only I and the council knew it. Could we be too cautious.  
"May I have a word with you, Counselor Haman," Morpheus entered, and I could tell that he was trying to cover the anger in his voice. Still, his eyes blazed. I remembered that look from years ago, the Morpheus who mentored me. One of the peculiarities of the Matrix that I never understood was that it was designed to replay all of human history, including events that were out and out horrible. Wars, holocausts, massacres, every terrible facet of our behavior. Whether it was made that way to help us accept it, or to remind themselves of what we were capable of I was never able to figure out. Morpheus, in his younger years, was a victim of that programming. He served in VietNam at only 17, and it haunted him. This Morpheus seemed less effected by it, given his divine cause that he became all the more caught up in as the years went by. The Morpheus I knew was always haunted by the memories. I remembered one mission where he froze, almost costing Trinity and I our lives. We were fighting Agents when suddenly a helicopter came close, and I saw his eyes freeze over. Luckily Trinity managed to grab his collar and practically drag him to the exit, but I remember that his eyes never left that helicopter. Later, he told us that his unit was ambushed towards the end of his service, and he prayed to hear that sound of the chopper coming in close. That meant the medics were coming to drag them out of battle. Unable to defend themselves, he and his best friend in the unit ran into the jungle to wait. When the chopper finally did come, they ran for it. He jumped on and turned to give Joe a helping hand. Turning, he saw Joe's face was gone, removed by an enemy bullet.  
"I saw it like it was happening." He whispered, drinking his drink a little more heavily. Dozer always kept a stash in the Neb, and we had doctored Morpheus' coffee with it. "These visions just don't leave." I didn't understand him then, but I do now.  
"Yes, Captain Morpheus. How are things on the Neb." I tried to start off casual, but I knew to prepare for the onslaught. Morpheus respected my rank and my age, but he wasn't one to be veered off his path.  
"I am a little confused by your decision to keep Trinity in Zion for training. She has completed the necessary year and has excelled."  
I wish I could have told him what I knew. Lord knows I was tempted to more than once. Although I now was significantly older than him, part of me was still the frightened 11 year-old who clung to Morpheus in place of his own father. Still, I knew I couldn't. "She is also a little reckless." I began, but Morpheus cut me off.  
"I just spoke to Counselor Dillard. She said she didn't see any reason for Trinity not to be on the crew. Given that she is one actually training Trinity, I think she could give the fairest evaluation."  
Given what I knew of Morpheus, I should have known he would come into this conversation prepared. Damn Dillard.  
"Dillard, when she fought, was reckless herself." I replied, knowing that it wasn't true. Dillard was ballsy, but she was never a fool. Still, what he didn't know..  
"I don't think proper judgment can be taught in a simulation. She could learn in the Matrix some form of restraint. All new recruits are far more reckless in the Construct then they are in the Matrix." The hitch in his voice told me he was getting angry.  
"Captain Morpheus. The girl has considerable skill. We could use a soldier like her, but she will not help further our cause if she gets herself killed her first time in serious conflict. Now, the Neb is scheduled to return to Zion in two months, newly freed notwithstanding. At that time, I will reevaluate the case. That is all." I looked down at my desk, pretending to be doing some paperwork. I didn't look up when Morpheus left, but I could tell he was furious with the way he slammed the door. Normally I would have called him on it, but I knew now wasn't just the time. Besides, even I was going to I would have be stopped by Dillard and Lilith, both storming into my office.  
"Is my office suddenly a parade route?" I blurted out, throwing my pen down.  
"I just had a discussion with Morpheus," Dillard began.  
"And you of course then promptly shared that discussion with Lilith, and you are both now following your divine mission of setting me straight all the damn time!"  
"Hey, you freed us." Dillard shrugged. "If you wanted wimps you should have looked elsewhere."  
"Believe me, if this doesn't work out right that's the advice I'm giving Neo."  
"Back off, Haman. Back off with everything!" Lilith thundered, shocked both Dillard and me. Normally, Dillard would be the one to explode. "You are attracting attention with your protectiveness, and we don't need that!"  
"She's not ready. What happens to her if she has a run-in with an Agent now? What happens to all of this?" I defended myself. A pain in my hand let me know that I had pounded my desk. I was angry, angry at Morpheus, angry at them, angry at that damn cookie-baking program that got us all into this mess in the first place.  
"Trinity has out-run every Agent handed to her in simulations almost from the beginning. The girl is getting antsy. She's a born warrior. Let her fight!" Dillard joined in, and for once she was the one keeping her cool. Lilith was still seething.  
"She has to live long enough to fight." I had arranged for Dillard to train Trinity. Make her the warrior I remembered. At the time, I didn't think that the more she could fight, the closer she would be to death. Morpheus practically worshipped her, considered her his protégé and future hope to find the One. I wasn't sure I could trust him not to use her too harshly. This Morpheus was a Zealot, and it scared me.  
"You can't keep her in a fucking cage!" Lilith exploded. "You can't do right by a woman you let die! She's gone. Your Trinity is GONE Haman! The best we can do for this one is prepare her for her future - and that is not going to happen if the most dangerous thing we have her do is count silver in the Mess hall!"  
"How dare you!" I returned, furious. I stepped forward, and part of me was angry enough to strike her.  
"How dare I? How dare you? You're not the only one who is involved here. We've all suffered to rebuild Zion. We've lied to our children, grandchildren. Damn it Haman, this little pact has all but cost Zora her sanity! Now, its this close to ending and you're risking it just to make yourself feel better. You're not mad at me - you're mad at yourself."  
I felt myself shrink physically. Lilith's posture went from that of a tiger about to strike to her normal stance. Dillard put her hands on my shoulders, squeezing them.  
"You have to forgive yourself Haman. You have to let it go or we all fail this time." Dillard said this gently, and I know that she was trying not to hurt me. "Remember, we fall through the ice when we try not to slip."  
I nodded and broke away from her gaze. I looked at Lilith, and could see the trust the woman still had in me. Slowly I turned back to my desk. Trinity's assignment paper was where I left it. My arm felt like it was made of concrete as I signed them.  
  
***"We fell through the ice when we tried not to slip" is from a song "The Freshmen" by the Verve Pipe. 


	6. 9 Years Later

Grandpa and Grandma  
  
"Haman," Lilith approached me after one of our meetings, looking a little pale. "How many times before your release did Trinity visit the Oracle?"  
I scanned my memory. "Only once," I replied, a feeling of melancholy creeping over me. The one about the One. "Why?"  
"Because the Neb just requested to go to broadcast depth."  
"Morpheus wants to take her?"  
"No, she requested to meet Trinity," Lilith replied, pausing at each word for emphasis. The Oracle never requested a meeting, not even when she met me all those years ago.  
"I have to go in and speak to her first," I replied, walking away. I had to find Demo, see if there were any disturbances in the code. Had something changed? Had we held her back too long?  
"Old friend, you know as well as I do your trips into the Matrix ended the day Thomas Anderson was born," Lilith stepped in front of me, blocking me. She was, as usual, correct. One thing my failure as a Messiah taught me was that I should listen, and Lilith and Dillard were it seems my conscience.  
"What if Trinity's not ready to here what the Oracle has to tell her?"  
"Obviously the Oracle thinks she is. Stand back, Haman. We can advise now. That is all."  
I swallowed the lump in my throat, suddenly humble. Fate had relegated me to a minor player in the drama about to unfold. I couldn't protect Trinity now, nor could I make the new Thomas Anderson do what I could not. All I could do now was advise, give hints, and hope. Believe.  
"Any word from Demo on the new Thomas Anderson?" I asked, changing the subject.  
Lilith gave a small smile, "Well, he's 34. No close attachments. On his computer for hours. Just the way Morpheus would like him. A couple of more years like this, he'll take a jar full of red pills."  
"I just hope the Oracle knows what she is doing. Unplugging a 34 year-old..." I began, interrupted by Lilith laughing.  
"You didn't do such a hot job being released at 11." She teased, patting my shoulder. Had to admit she had me there. Then a thought hit me.  
"No close attachments? What about his parents? His sister Amanda?" I asked, mentally reminding myself to say his, not my.  
"They died in a car crash nine years ago." Lilith said flatly, scanning my face for a reaction. I felt nauseous. While we always reminded ourselves it wasn't real, our Matrix lives, just our RSI's, I still remembered them. They were the cool parents - that's what my friends said anyway. My dad played modern rock on the guitar, or what was modern for that time. My mom was the one who let all the friends come over, made everyone feel right at home, and didn't complain about the mess. Christ, Amanda. Nine years ago. She would have only been 20.  
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, taking a sharp inhalation of breath.  
"Haman, I didn't know how you'd react. There was so much going on. Trinity was released. You were battling so many demons I didn't want to add another."  
She grabbed my shoulder, "For what its worth. I'm sorry. If its any consolation, it was quick."  
I gave a quick nod, composing myself. "So, no girlfriends?"  
Lilith chuckled, "It seems our Messiah isn't too big with the ladies. He spends most of his evenings with his computer."  
I put on a surprised face, "You mean....I am a dork? Say it isn't so!"  
We both laughed, "Afraid so. I'm starting to feel sorry for poor Trinity."  
"Why?"  
"All that frustration finally getting released? She'll have to be quite a woman to handle all that."  
I just shook my head, smiling. "Maybe that'll make him appreciate her. Did Dillard give the O.K. to the Neb?  
"Yes."  
"Well then, it seems that Tommy's evenings with the computer will be ending soon."  
  
When the Neb returned after Trinity's meeting with the Oracle, Morpheus came into my chambers. He was concerned for Trinity.  
"She's gotten thinner. And so distracted. It's as if she is afraid of something," he confided. He had requested that Trinity stay in Zion while the rest of the crew returned to the ship. Trinity had made a careless mistake in the Matrix that almost cost she and Apoc their lives.  
"Did they pump a virus into the system?" I asked, trying to sound innocent.  
"Not that we can tell," Morpheus replied, shrugging. "Apoc, Switch, and Cypher are fine."  
"Could it have been her meeting with the Oracle?" I queried. I always wondered if Trinity had told Morpheus her prophecy.  
"I don't know. She hasn't told me what the Oracle said. But it did seem to start around that time."  
"Maybe the old woman's baking skills aren't what they used to be." I joked. Morpheus smiled, but he was too concerned to laugh. I had never thought about how that prophecy affected Trinity, but now I could see it, from what Morpheus told me. She was afraid. Afraid of being exposed. Hurt. And damn me, I did it all. Maybe the Oracle was right having Morpheus find Neo later this time. Maybe those lonely nights by the computer would help him appreciate that love he would receive. Still, was a Trinity trained by Dillard able to love like my Trinity was?  
"So, Morpheus? How is Niobe?" When I saw his reaction, I briefly wished that I could be in the Matrix so I could turn back time.  
"We are no longer together. Not since the meeting with the Oracle."  
  
Their relationship had been strained for awhile, that I did know. Niobe not being a believer in the quest that burned closest to his heart. Still, I was not prepared for what came next.  
"She is with Lock now."  
"You mean Deadbolt?!?!" I asked incredulously, once again feeling like an idiot. As a member of the council, I would not be privy to that nickname. Morpheus looked at me quizzically, and then chuckled. "The very same."  
I made a mental note to tell Dillard. She would have a fit.  
  
Dillard's POV  
  
Out of all of the women who Haman freed, I was the only one unable to bear children. It's not that I didn't try. But heck, how many times can you fuck? Not that anyone of the younger generation would believe this, but the early days of Zion were filled with two thoughts – survival and reproduction. One was tough, one was fun., and I don't think anyone minded the latter Still, when the children started being born and my stomach remained smooth and flat, I felt depressed. Not that I wanted children, I felt like I had let down Haman. One thing I did not question, and that was I loved him. I loved him from the first, and his mission became my mission. And while it was obvious I couldn't serve that purpose by breeding, I became determined to enter the Matrix and fight our enemies.  
Why did I love Haman? I don't know. Maybe it was because out of all the men I had been with, he was the only one who treated me like a lover. Not a slam piece. I don't blame them for their attitude. It was like a drunken frat party – screw as many as you could. Half the time people didn't even look for privacy, and you could walk over an oblivious couple mid-coitus and no one cared. There was no jealousy, you took as many partners as you could to try to increase your chances of conceiving. One the rare occasion we did actually reminisce, we just have to laugh at ourselves. How would the younger generation react to the thought of the illustrious counsel fucking like rabbits? Haman took me somewhere private, made sure that I felt pleasure. He didn't enter me right away, but caressed me, spoke to me. Our pace wasn't quick, but slow and gentle. My climax wasn't the quick one borne of lust, but deeper in my body. In my soul. I knew he didn't love me, his heart belonged to another. Still does, if you ask me. But I will never forget that when we were together, we were connected. Many years later, he confided in me that he never came to me again because he was afraid he would fall in love with me. After me, he turned to Lilith – someone who he liked but knew he could not love. The love I felt faded over time, but my respect for him never did. When I loved him, I made a vow that I would do whatever he needed of me. While I no longer love him, I keep that vow. He is frightened, I know that. The past is merging with his present, scaring the shit out of him. I will be there for him, give him my strength, and do whatever I have to do. So maybe it was divine providence that brought Trinity to me that day, for advice.  
Because I also saw fear that day - fear in the face of Trinity.  
"Trinity, keep your guard up!" I reminded her again that day. Trying to keep my temper, which for me is a big feat. What had gotten into this girl? She was 26, and she was worse then when she first came to me nine years ago. The prophecy had to be the reason. She would love Neo.  
"I'm sorry Counselor Dillard," she responded, throwing down her sword in disgust. She was angry at herself, that I could tell. "After nine fucking years I should know what the hell I am doing!" In all the time I had trained her, I had never seen Trinity so angry with herself. She balled her hands into fists, pacing like a cat that let a mouse allude them. "Damn it!"  
"Trinity, what the hell is with you?"  
She stopped and looked me in the eyes. There was a storm brewing in there.  
"Was it something the Oracle said to you?" I asked, putting my arm around her shoulders. I never liked that damn program. If she was so full of homespun goodness, why didn't she just tell us what to do?  
Trinity didn't respond, but I did see her flinch. I had struck a nerve.  
"Talk Trinity," I gave her shoulders a hug, "Being strong doesn't me you have to suffer in silence."  
She gave me a quizzical look, and then a quick smile.  
"Can I ask you a question, Counselor Dillard?"  
"Yes?"  
"Have you ever been in love?"  
I gave a small smile. When you get older, younger people forget you have led a life before the wrinkles and the gray hair. "Yes, my dear. I have been. Part of me still is. Why do you ask?"  
"What do you do......" she began, and then turned away.  
"When you're in love?" My brows furrowed, trying to give the right answer. I knew what this girl's purpose was, and I had a feeling that she needed to hear the right things. "My girl, when you are in love you can do things you didn't know were possible. It makes you stronger than you can imagine."  
"Stronger?" she asked in shock, her eyes opening wide.  
"Trinity. Let me tell you something. When you truly love someone, completely and totally, their causes become your causes. But be sure it is reciprocated. Because when two people are in love they become like a stronger unit. Be his strength, he'll be yours." I punctuated my last words with taps from the sword we were sparring with.  
She gave a small smile and a nod, as if considering my words.  
"What do you have to give up when you are in love?" she asked, and I could tell this was important to her. I had heard the stories, as Haman had made us keep an ear on Trinity's life. Part of me felt it was stupid gossip, but now I could see why the others called her an ice princess. She tried to be so calm, controlled, never allow a vulnerability to show. That, I discovered early on, was more of a sign of weakness then anything else.  
"For the person you love, you will be prepared to give everything and anything. Because without them, you do not exist. Truly allowing yourself to love another person is the ultimate strength. Not allowing yourself to love is the ultimate weakness." I gave her a sly smile, "Besides, regular sex does wonder for your battle skills."  
The girl looked at me strangely, and then became hysterical laughing.  
"Hope he's good." She choked out between chuckles, and I gave a smile.  
"Trust me, he will be." She didn't have to know that I could say that from personal experience. 


End file.
